Gosh, I'm sorry: A Form Letter Apology
An amusing conversation with a good friend led me to map out the
following entry. This idea is by no means unique. I've stumbled upon
several "form letter" blog entries across the giant www. However, in
light of, say, the last several months, I felt this entirely
appropriate. If applicable to you, please complete the letter as
necessary, circling the appropriate choice...
Dear
-Friend
-Family Member
-Acquaintance with Unrealistic Expectations
I'm sorry I've been:
-out of touch
-avoiding your request
-dodging any number of passive aggressive remarks posted on your facebook directed toward me and my lack of contact
Things have been a bit crazy because:
-My family has shared a cold/cough/virus for the better part of the last month, and its endless cycling has produced one hospital visit and many, many new medications as well as general discontent
-I have, as you know, a medically fragile daughter who requires a fair amount of attention while I also have three other kids, the oldest being five
-it's people like you who lay out unreasonable requests with a side of guilt trips, that lead me to feel overwhelmed, unorganized, irritable, and disgruntled in general
Fear not. I'm sure they'll settle down when:
-I get a little more into the swing of things with this school year
-I'm able to schedule any number of appointments for myself--and actually keep them
-I'm a great-grandmother of twenty-three in a nursing home
Until then, please:
-remain as patiently loving as you have been so far
-accept that I really am trying my best and my lack of contact is by no means a reflection of how I feel toward you/our relationship in general
-STFU and stop being so selfish and needy because it's pissing my shit off
I remain:
-Your loving, loyal friend, Courtney
-A rather frazzled but hanging-in-there-all-the-same Courtney
-Courtney (who never wants to see your name appear on my text messages, in my email, on my facebook, and the like. NEVER)
Dear
-Friend
-Family Member
-Acquaintance with Unrealistic Expectations
I'm sorry I've been:
-out of touch
-avoiding your request
-dodging any number of passive aggressive remarks posted on your facebook directed toward me and my lack of contact
Things have been a bit crazy because:
-My family has shared a cold/cough/virus for the better part of the last month, and its endless cycling has produced one hospital visit and many, many new medications as well as general discontent
-I have, as you know, a medically fragile daughter who requires a fair amount of attention while I also have three other kids, the oldest being five
-it's people like you who lay out unreasonable requests with a side of guilt trips, that lead me to feel overwhelmed, unorganized, irritable, and disgruntled in general
Fear not. I'm sure they'll settle down when:
-I get a little more into the swing of things with this school year
-I'm able to schedule any number of appointments for myself--and actually keep them
-I'm a great-grandmother of twenty-three in a nursing home
Until then, please:
-remain as patiently loving as you have been so far
-accept that I really am trying my best and my lack of contact is by no means a reflection of how I feel toward you/our relationship in general
-STFU and stop being so selfish and needy because it's pissing my shit off
I remain:
-Your loving, loyal friend, Courtney
-A rather frazzled but hanging-in-there-all-the-same Courtney
-Courtney (who never wants to see your name appear on my text messages, in my email, on my facebook, and the like. NEVER)
Posted by courtney at 9/24/2011 12:12 PM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: form letter apology form letter humor humor in truth life
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: form letter apology form letter humor humor in truth life
Love this.
Reply to this