Several weeks back, I posted on facebook asking if someone, anyone had a connection to wheelchair-accessible vans. See, we've been working with our trusty gold minivan and it's been...less than ideal. In fact, it's been rather difficult indeed. Sunshine is, for lack of a better term, solidly built (all of her weight is in her midsection). And rather stiff (CP). And right now, she's in a regular, five-point harness car seat (thanks, state of Illinois), for the endless wait for a specialized seat). It's a little rough to get her in and out. But more of a problem? Her wheelchair. It fits in the back of the minivan, sure. It does, with half an inch to spare--literally. We were so relieved to find out there was a way she could travel with her chair if need be! But here are the main problems with this set up: we can't take a stroller for Little Flower along with the chair. Winter--or even a tiny hint of ice--would be treacherous. Oh, and the wheelchair itself, the one that needs to be physically lifted in and out of the back of the minivan? It weighs exactly 83.3 pounds. If you're wondering if travel with all four kids would've been rather impossible for me to take on as a solo endeavor should I need to do so, the answer is a resounding "yes". Of course, this poses a number of problems in and of itself, but the solution was clear...we had to work toward a wheelchair-accessible van.

Enter yet another problem: financing a new--or even used--wheelchair van would be very, very hard on an already crunched budget. New wheelchair-accessible conversion vans run about 50+K and used ones go for roughly 25+K. Not a cheap investment by any means.

When I posted my inquiry as to whether anyone had a connection for a wheelchair-accessible van, I was hoping someone could point us to one that would be a "just to get us all around if we had to go" vehicle. Read as also: rust + dust + tires + duct tape. We figured we could pop for that sort of ride on the cheap---maybe even financing it over time with minimal payment due--and travel whenever we could in the minivan (using the conversion van only as really, really necessary). Well, for one thing, my request seemed to go viral. At the time, I had almost 500 friends on my facebook list (I've since done rather large chop) and a ton--no, really--a ton of people reposted my request. I received several leads via messages. One message came from a facebook friend we barely knew. We share a very awesome mutual friend (hi, B.!) and were connected some time back (not ironically during the time when I was fundraising for Children's Memorial Hospital). While he resides outside the state of Illinois, he offered his help in any way possible. I inquired as to whether he had any in-state leads and after several conversations, here was the outcome...

If you're not sitting, sit down. It will take your breath away. I am positively bawling as I type these words.

He wanted to buy us a van. A used van far exceeding anything we had ever even contemplated, a safe van, a solid van, a dependable van. A van in which it was safe for Sunshine to travel, safe for my three other beautiful babies, safe for all of us.

Let me break it down for you again: this individual--this angel (well, two angels, actually--he's married :) was willing to buy us a van just because. Out of the pure goodness of his heart. He had no obligation to us. In fact, we'd never even met in person and only exchanged a few facebook messages some time back.

I have to stop here to get myself together.

Can you possibly imagine what it's like to find out that a real, live angel wants to send you tens of thousands of dollars for transportation so that your wheelchair-bound child can travel safely and comfortable? You can't. You couldn't possibly. My husband is not an overly emotional guy. He cried when Bear was born, and we cried together over the arrival of all our beautiful girls. The morning I read the facebook message to him, aloud at our kitchen table, we both wept openly.

It was better than winning the lottery. And it wasn't only because of the tremendous gift we were to be given, but because there were people like these individuals in this world who are so selfless and so loving and so generous that it takes my breath away. My faith in humanity has been more than renewed. It's been reborn.

There is just so much beauty and love and wonder in this world sometimes. There are, in this world, actual angels walking around, disguised simply as normal people. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around this.

So, we found a perfect van. It's green (our lucky color--in part because we met Sunshine on St. Patrick's Day and in part because of the whole Irish thing ;). It is honestly my dream vehicle. Had you asked me if I'd love a VW Beetle from, say, the 60's more than anything in this world--had you asked me this even three months back--I would've declared it the greatest vehicle in the world, a complete dream car. It doesn't even hold a candle to this van. Not even close. I will never love another vehicle as I do this one. Never.

This angel...he made it happen. He didn't have to, he chose to. He opened doors for my family I can't begin to describe. From my current spot, perched at the computer, I can look out and see this amazing vehicle. Even now, I still can't believe it exists. It's beyond a dream come true. It's so amazing it's still surreal.

The very individual behind this miracle once told me "we are all in this thing called 'life' together". On my last day on this planet, in this world, in this life, I will think of those words, of these two amazing people, and of this van. Miracles happen and angels exist. The darkest hour is usually before the dawn, but once the sun breaks, it is always so bright and beautiful that the darkness fades into just a sketchy memory....

<3

(Note: When the van was being delivered, the salesperson with whom we worked closely kept referring to it as the "angel van". We later found out why. On the back of the van, there is an angel with a little cross stenciled on the paint. And on the back set of windows, there are very subtle wings. Can you think of anything more fitting? An angel van from two living, breathing angels? I can't. I really can't.)