[x] So. As anyone following me on Twitter will attest, today was NOT a good day by any means. I spoke too soon this morning, apparently. The shit hit the proverbial fan this afternoon and my head is still throbbing.

Things look better, but I am WAY less confident that Sunshine's placement will proceed as planned. *sigh*

Here's the skinny: today brought two separate yet concurrent problems. Here's a quick breakdown of the key players:

B. is the worker assigned to Sunshine's case. She is downstate+.
C. is our worker through the private agency (for our home study).
Office of Evil & Doom is the local branch of B.'s agency. We won't have a worker until Sunshine is placed, but we've met with our intake worker (D.) and spoke to two other people at the office several times.

Please refer to the aforementioned chart if necessary to track teh dramaz below.

Today, D. (from Office of Evil & Doom) called and unleashed two HUGE problems with our potential placement. Problem #1: Suddenly, C.'s office (agency that completed our home study) is balking about holding our license for six months, claiming it's a liability. How this was never brought up as a potential problem before today I know not, but that's a story for another day. K. (husband, just to clarify) is going to speak to agency director tomorrow. We've offered to jump through any hoop--pay for them out of pocket to complete their own post-placement visits (even though another agency--Office of Evil & Doom--will be reporting to the state), etc. Keep in mind they would be able to close the license *probably* by the end of the calendar year, maybe the first week of next week if there's any delay with adoption proceedings (although it would be highly unlikely). If we have to transfer our license, that's kind of a lengthy project. Our last transfer took two months (start to finish). A friendly reminder: placement is set for oh, say, three weeks from now. So here I present you with problem one.

Problem #2 also arose from our conversation with D. today. It turns out that Office of Evil & Doom wants us to take about five classes--oh, plus Pride training (27 hours--a multi-week course)--pre-placement. That's not even humanly possible, for one, and for two--by Office of Evil & Doom's own admission--90% of these "mandatory" classes are completely irrelevant to Sunshine (given her significant needs) and will never have any bearing on her life, our care of/for her, etc. Office of Evil & Doom tried to convince us that maaaaaybe Sunshine would develop behavioral problems in which I had to bite the inside of my mouth to stop from screaming "are you out of your fucking mind?!". It is entirely evident that no one from Office of Evil & Doom read, well, anything about Sunshine or her severe needs. This is not improbable, it's impossible. We acquiesced to all training--even though SO much would never apply, but asked if we could sign up for classes without placement delay. Nope, not going to work. Office of Evil & Doom wants them done now, now, now. REALLY?

Enter angst, and a whole fucking lot of it. Here we have this amazing little girl, who we already all love and want to make a member of our family, and Office of Evil & Doom JUST NOW read our paperwork/home study/file and made these determinations--even though their office (B.'s) downstate deemed us good to go. Prior to this afternoon, Pride training wasn't needed at all and most of the classes wouldn't be needed as well (their words, not mine).

Say it with me now: what the motherfucking fuck.

Soooooo I called B. (Sunshine's worker--the one we've been in contact with since day one). No answer. I call her cell phone (I have the number for emergency use). No answer. I leave a frantic voicemail on her cell phone and wait for response, trying not to simultaneously hyperventilate, throw up, and sob hysterically. She calls back a little while later (she was out of the office today) and was completely FLOORED by today's developments. She is not only put out by C., but completely pissed (and rightfully so) at the Office of Evil & Doom, especially because they know nothing about Sunshine and *never* contacted her regarding any of these "issues", ever. She reassured me that all was not lost and that she would do everything in her power to keep our placement date set as it is. The moral of the story is that there's a sneaking suspicion that Office of Evil & Doom might not be all that interested in taking on the responsibility of our case (in which B. pretty much said they could suck it up and deal with it or else) so a little "foot dragging" might render a placement in our home unlikely. She was beside herself that all these sudden pre-placement requirements came to light today and without any notification to her (or even her office in general) with a threat to disrupt a potential placement. She spent a ton of time with me on the phone and did a lot of reassuring that she would fight tooth and nail for placement to move forward. She also said a bunch of other things that I can't detail here really, but a lot of interesting elements to this saga came to light.

So now we wait.

Tomorrow should prove quite interesting. We're talking to C.'s supervisor tomorrow about the license-holding issue, and of course we'll call B. for a follow up as to WTF is going on.

But I'm off the ledge, at least a little bit. Post-phone call with Office of Evil & Doom, it sounded like there was basically no chance in hell (or beyond, really) that placement would be feasible. Ever, really. And at least for now, I'm not teetering on the brink of a breakdown. I'm nowhere near 100% confident, but I'm feeling a bit better. Talking with B. helped. And all the support I received on Twitter was completely priceless. How I love my Twitter pals something fierce. <3

[x] So, to not make this entry a total downer, let's end with some amazing news, shall we? We determined--between therapy and play--that LF can choose the correct animal (both "dog" and "cat") from two flashcards when given the choice. AND she can pick out the "baby" and "key" cards, too. AND she has a color preference for things that are yellow. All this from a baby who "MIGHT be able to see light and dark--in extremes--maybe." YES! So happy and so proud of my little (miracle) flower! Get 'em, LF! Get 'em! <3