I'm just going to come right out and lay it on the line: we put Fourth Meal to sleep today. After an extensive phone consult with the vet who said her odds of recovery were so incredibly slim (i.e., impossible), we decided we couldn't let her suffer another day. To say we are heartbroken...that doesn't even come close. But we are also so relieved that she's pain free now. She never recovered from the blindness, couldn't control her limbs, had to be force fed, and cried in pain during most of her "semi-conscious" time. She didn't recognize K. when he went to say goodbye to her tonight (I couldn't bring myself to go, so he did--god love him). We had the option of bringing her home to try to care for her, but her lack of muscle control would've been dangerous to her well being--and that was just the tip of the iceberg. I couldn't have endured the sound of her cries for a single moment; it would break my heart even more than it did to lose her.  Like I said, we're definitely secure in our decision, but man...I feel like I will never stop crying over this. I know she's "just a cat" but she was *our* cat; we fed her outside for almost a year before she came into the house for a few months. I like to think we gave her the best last winter/Christmas and did all we could for her. She'll never be "just a cat" to me.

Anyway, I had more to say but I'm having a really hard time tonight. I am trying to take comfort in the fact that she is no longer suffering; she is free from all the pain. But oh, how I miss her already.

I just miss her so much already.

<3