[x] I started scratching out a blog on Sunday, but fast forward to Monday Wednesday, and it's here--still in the works. Today Monday was a pretty stressful day. Nothing terrible happened to anyone (so no worries, you guys!) but there are big decisions to be made on the horizon. And I am riddled with anxiety. This is the biggest downfall to a public blog; I want to scratch out all these thoughts and make pros and cons and try to organize my thoughts, but this is not the place for it. Thankfully, my best friend (since the first grade), E., is such an amazing sounding board. She let me pour it all out (and all over her) on Monday night and it really helped. But I'm still no closer to an answer.

But what do you think--how do think--when there's no "right" thought--no "correct" answer? Ugh. I'm all out of sorts today (and now, too--considering it's Wednesday and I'm still no farther than the starting point). UGH.

I heard this song in the car on Monday afternoon, and ever since...just the thought of it has me teary. Every time I hear it, my heart just feels like ripping apart.

This is just so rough, you guys. I'm sorry I have to be so cryptic right now, but if you have some spare good thoughts...I sure could use 'em.

Anyway.

[x] Backing up...is there anything better--or more cathartic--than a Sunday spent in the kitchen? Vegan knishes (one of my specialties--come for dinner some time & you'll see :) care of Isa Chandra Moskowitz's Vegan with a Vengeance. Vegan onion cheese bread (recipe below)--modified from about seven different recipes found on the 'net. And a "Heath Bar" cake for a very belated birthday surprise for one of the most rock awesome people I know. I won't be able to try that one (not that I could anyway--it has eggs and sweetened condensed milk), but I hope it's a hit.

Ahhh...cooking and baking and the house smelling warm and delicious and heavenly. Like! I love having all my loves--and our zoo of pets--home and relaxing (and playing :) on a Sunday afternoon.

Vegan Cheese and Onion Beer Bread
(preheat the oven to 375, yo-- and lightly grease an 8x4 loaf pan before you start)

3 c flour (I use a combo of all-purpose and whole wheat)
3 T sugar (check the brand to make sure your sweetener is vegan)
1 T baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 T of onion powder (or some sauteed onion when I have it/am not feeling lazy)
1/2 c "cheese" (I use Daiya cheddar shreds)

Whisk flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, and onion powder (if you're using it); mix in cheese (and sauteed onions, if you're using those :). Make sure all cheese (and onions, if applicable) is coated with flour mixture. Then add...

1 12oz bottle of beer (check the brand to make sure your beer is vegan; obviously the depth of said beer will impact the flavor of your bread)

Mix just until combined. Spread in pan. Bake for 50-60 minutes (check with a tester in the center). Let it cool in the pan for a few, hit it to the cooling rack, and dig the hell in. Voila!

You're welcome. :)

[x] It's been a long,busy, and stressful week, and I'm looking forward to some decompression time tonight and tomorrow night. Well, we have shoveling to attend to, a few house chores, and some beer brewing (more on that later), but decompression will definitely take place. Hopefully my heart will find the resolve it needs--in one direction or another.


<3