[x] Am I *ever* going to update this thing on the regular? Ever? I set a goal for myself (forever ago, mind you) that I was aiming for once a week. No such luck. Maybe starting now? But no promises. ;)

[x] On 5 November, I turned thirty and it was deliciously awesome. So far, I feel fabulous! My birthday was great, though--the kids woke me up with birthday hugs, kisses, and cuddles, and took me to Build-a-Bear which turned into an adventure when we decided to "take a short cut" to get home. We got a little lost, but that was okay. It was a lot of fun nonetheless. :) Bear thought pizza a good birthday meal for mommy which was a great idea, IMHO. We went out for birthday "ice cream" and the kids helped me unwrap presents. Overall, just an awesome day. It wasn't as glamorous (or inebriated ;) as some of my past birthdays, but being here and celebrating with my K., Bear, Beauty, and Little Flower? I could not ask for more. I have three healthy kids, the best marriage possible, and an overall great life. I'm looking forward to the next six decades or so. But I really think thirty is going to be a rock awesome year.

I thought about doing an in-depth year-by-year review of the past decade, but really...what's the point? I can sum it up simply: '01 brought new love and '04 brought heartbreak of epic proportions. '05 brought new love (x2, if you're keeping score) with a huge share of drama and just some Really Bad Times overall for a number of reasons. But it ended on an amazing note when I married my soulmate on 31 December 2005. '06 was my best-ever year, as it was my introduction to motherhood and the joy that comes with it. A beautiful baby girl was born in Guatemala in '07 in the spring and welcomed into our arms that winter. '08 was...rough, to say the least. I mean, K., Bear, and Beauty were as amazing as always, but losing Bean that same winter...things still aren't entirely the same for me. And they probably never will be. '09 brought a bunch of new changes, namely one amazing Little Flower born that fall (although I didn't know it until the final month of '09). In 2010, we welcomed Little Flower to the family and she has been incredible in every sense of the word. She brought me so much sunshine after so much darkness, and I am so grateful for her amazing presence in my world. We're getting close to wrapping up '10 now and I feel good things on the horizon for 2011...

We shall see. :)

Oh! I also moved a bunch (four times since the end of 2005), changed my hair color (from black to red to black to red again :), got a bunch of tattoos and a few piercings to boot. I took on vegetarianism in 2006 and found that I love it beyond what words can express. I've met some amazing people who have seen me through my worst and are still around and kickin' (and y'all know who you are), I cut some ties, and I reconnected with others from my past in some awesome ways. And so on...

Overall, I have no complaints. I learned a lot about myself--and others. I loved too hard, hard enough, and not even close to hard enough. I burned bridges with blowtorches, forgave, and asked for forgiveness. I realized that some people you love just might break your heart, but doors and windows always open at the perfect moment if you're ready and receptive. I learned to lie, to tell the truth, to fight for myself, to only exert the energies of my heart and soul on those who were really worth it. I finally "got it" that if you enter a relationship in which you feel completely secure, there is no drama, and furthermore...no need for drama in the first place. I no longer exert energy on petty jealousy, or on those who are not worthy of involvement with my family. I'm working on NOT sweating the small stuff and just...being. I cut ties with a lot of people I loved--and still love--very much during a very hard time in my life. I hope that, as time goes by and I continue working on myself, that I can rekindle some relationships I've let suffer as a result of this.

I am still very much a work in progress. There are still parts of me I have yet to understand, and I like that. But overall, I'm really learning to love myself again. I credit the fabulous foursome always in my corner, along with some amazing friends who hold me up when I'm slipping and love me solidly and unconditionally despite my few many faults.

It was a good birthday. Thirty just rocks. :)

[x] All is well on the family front. Little Flower's OT is still so impressed by her many accomplishments. Her DT-V quit (via text--WTF?!) and while I don't blame her (lack of payment from the state--shocking, I know), I'm back at the drawing board to find new resources. LF has a new PT and we like her very much. She was also bumped to PT twice a month instead of once, so...yay for that!

[x] Bear and Beauty are still loving preschool. Bear wants to add on a few more days come winter and I think we're going to go for it. His BFF (aside from his sisters), E. (and her little sis, S.) attend five days a week. It's so sweet to see them play together. In fact, just the other day, the dads and kids (E. and S. are our neighbors, btw!) met up for an afternoon playdate. It was just about the cutest thing ever to see the dads rocking out the playdate. (E. and S.'s mom was at work and LF was napping so I was home and baking). Love it! We're lucky to have such great neighbors with kids the same ages as our two older ones. Bear is really coming along with his printing and Beauty is trying so hard with her colors and numbers. She's not as developmentally "spot on" as most of her peers, but she isn't lacking in ambition, that's for sure! We're all still kicking around a cold here, but hoping to knock it out soon. Right now, Bear, K., and I are moving out of it, and the girls are in the runny-noses-and-a-slight-cough phase. C'mon, immunity! Let's turn it UP already!

[x] Things are coming along with Fourth Meal. She's really warmed up to me and I'm hoping to bring in by winter. She'll now sit on my lap on the porch and purr and knead and carry on. Send some get-kitty-inside vibes my way, please!

[x] I don't recall if I mentioned our Halloween festivities. The kids had a great day and got a TON of candy. K. made a great Batman and Bear was SO thrilled by it! This is two for two in coordinating costumes for my boys. Love it! Right before Halloween, my brother came in from out of state and met LF for the first time. I think it's safe to say he's in love. :) It was SO great having him here. I miss him so, so much. But he'll be back in January and I'm so excited about that. <3

All right, that's it for now. Off to empty the dishwasher, kick a load of laundry into the dryer, have a glass of wine, and put my feet up. I still need to write out all my thoughts on the Grayson Vaughn case, but that's a story for another time. G'night, bloggy pals. :)

<3