[x] I don't understand insecure women. Admittedly, I was one--before I was old enough to know better, or maybe before I had a relationship where I felt/still feel so secure (the whole healthy vs. unhealthy conundrum). But I just don't *get* it. If you truly have reason to be insecure, it's time for some reflection of self and the relationship at hand. Amirite? One of the best aspects of my marriage with K. is the blatant "tell all" policy we have. Past, present, future--it's all on the proverbial table. Just as an example, I have ZERO issue with telling K. (and vice versa) when I find someone else to be attractive. There's no shock value to either of this. We're very...open. It's just a normal discussion for us, and to date, neither of us have ever been appalled or offended. Intrigued? Perhaps. But never upset offended. Or even surprised.

I like it a lot.

I always feel bad when I watch some of my closest girls deal with insecurity--not that it happens often, but it has happened. The world is full of attraction on so many different levels. This isn't a bad thing. In fact, I'd argue it's a good thing--a great thing, even. I feel that this attraction fundamentally draws us to the people in our lives we value most (family aside, of course). It doesn't have to be lustfully physical, it can be emotionally, mentally, etc. I, for one, suck at "faking interest". If I don't feel it, you'll know in a second. I have to want to be there in the moment with you for it to take flight. I don't willingly communicate with anyone if I feel it's ultimately a moot point/waste of my time. I prefer to focus my attention on those who interest me Selective tendencies? My own version of survival of the fittest? Just a raging bitch mentality? Maybe. I don't really know.

And furthermore, I don't really care.

I'll get down off the soapbox, eh?

[x] One of my girls paid me a great compliment today. She said--and I quote from her email--"...you're the type of friend I can always count on and that means the world to me. With you, I know the following is always true: you will get my back emotionally, throw a punch (perhaps even physically) on my behalf, let me cry on your shoulder--because that's how you are just sincerely hardwired. You're the best person to go to for advice, and you'll never tell me what I want to hear if you don't really feel it. You're loyal to a fault and loving beyond reason, and I just wanted you to know I appreciate you for all that you are."

Seriously. Just cutting-and-pasting this left me teary. I know some seriously amazing fucking people in this world. This message was such a sweetly wonderful surprise. <3 <3 <3

[x] Today was just a day. K. came home for a whopping seven hours (he was on a 36) and is now back on another 36. *sigh* This schedule is not for the weak of heart, I tell you. I don't know what's worse--a LDR or a constantly consistent ebb-and-flow absence like this. I shouldn't complain, though. I'm so grateful he works so hard and supports the family so well, and I'm even more grateful he HAS a job in this economy. Oooh, This reminds me...

[x] Today, a friend of mine (a few, actually) who works with K. posted this link on his facebook page. The 10 minute mark up to and including the 22 minute mark (approximately) hold the areas of the most interest. This is actual audio of a village meeting (Oak Brook, IL). No, seriously. It's ACTUAL AUDIO, although the link may be mysteriously and conveniently "unavailable" at this time. In short, here is a synopsis snagged straight from the event page (on facebook) of Firefighters Attending the Oakbrook Village Board Meeting:

"On Wednesday, September 22, 2010 the Village of Oakbrook's "Citizens Finance Advisory Committee" met, and the subsequent audio from the meeting was released to the public via the Oakbrook Village website. During the meeting the Village President suggests finding a way to get rid of the firefighters and to hire contract fire personnel. Other members of the committee suggest firing one firefighter per month, because firefighters and police are just "street people", until the firefighter's wives leave them, their kids are on the street and their dogs die (all from not having a job), then maybe the fire dept. will get the point. Members also admit to strong arming local businesses into signing contracts, and they finish by laughing and making light of Hinsdale Deputy Fire Chief Johnson's Line of Duty death, which occurred 2 days prior to the meeting."

Can't believe it? We couldn't either. I really can't even adequately express my thoughts on this matter, but I certainly hope that hell is more than sufficiently raised at the next meeting on 28 September. I'm more than confident the turnout will be strong, and I hope that one or two of the union reps from K's department are able to attend (they're pretty bad ass--no amateurs here, let me tell you--and are very articulately, diplomatically opinionated). How I long to be a fly on that wall, let me tell you. And for argument's sake, let's just say this was an exchange between a citizen (I believe there was at least ONE present, but there could've been a hundred for all I know) and a board member/village trustee/council member/mayor. As part of "the village government" (for lack of a better term), it is completely within your constitutional right to listen to an "impartial (or partial, for that matter)" citizen's opinion, respond diplomatically, and politely steer the conversation in a different direction. Chief Johnson's LODD should not have been discussed--let alone lightly--during this meeting. You don't have to be a political genius for a redirection.

UGH!

[x] I could ramble on endlessly (big surprise there, right?) but I have a very special guest tonight--a sleepover with my favorite-ever now-sleeping four year old. He selected the fleece sheets with snowflakes and we played Old Maid (I lost) and Go Fish (I actually won!) and read a few books. He crashed out and I snuck down here to jump online for a few. But it wouldn't hurt to grab a few solid hours of shut eye. And so off to bed I go...