Phew. So much to say...where to start?!

[x] I haven't forgotten the 30 days thing. Hey, no one said that shit had to be continuous, amirite? I'll pick it back up. And soon. I think.

[x] Bear and Beauty started preschool this past Tuesday. No tears from either of them (or me!) and they both came home so, so happy (both yesterday and today). After their first day, K, Little Flower, and I picked them up and we headed to the Rainforest Cafe (which was absolutely *exceptional*--we opted to not eat at our "regular" RFD) and then Build-A-Bear . Oh, Build-A-Bear. Why must you be so adorably expensive?! Suffice to say, we left with three new "family members": Champ, Sparkles, and Sunshine. Champ (Bear's bear) is sporting a Harley Davidson t-shirt, jean shorts, Sketchers, and shades. Sparkles (Beauty's bear) is wearing a purple and silver top and a jean skirt, with sparkly silver shoes and pink sunglasses. Sunshine (Little Flower's bear) is wearing a one piece pj outfit ("thank goodness for little bears"). This, my friends, can be all yours for the low, low price of $110.76.

REALLY?!

But everyone went home happy. LF was in a bit of a mood, but she hung in there as best she could. I know she was tired since she's completely and utterly given up napping absolutely anywhere other than her crib. What?! My LF--the girl who could fall asleep anywhere at any time--has given up all non-crib naps? Oh, man. Things are gonna get interesting around here if that's the deal we're digging. Here's to hoping she'll start taking two solid naps in her crib, then. 'Cause one isn't really hacking it when she wants to go to bed for the night come 4 PM. Eeep.

[x] Can I talk about something that stresses me out? In a single word? Preschool. Don't get me wrong: I'm elated the kids love it. I feel good about the school. I feel good about both of their teachers. I do NOT feel good that I can no longer protect them from hurt feelings, from other kids' jackass-y natures. Listen, I have no concrete examples to list, but it just occurred to me today that I can no longer provide the "mother hen" protection. Not that I think either of them need it, but if you know me at all, you know I just like to preemptively worry a bit now and again (read as: always). Ugh. It's just growing pains. But it's going to take every fiber in my being to CHILL THE FUCK OUT. But we're all going to be okay, I know.

[x] K. finagled his schedule to cover almost all the days the kids are in preschool (they go three days per week) so he can be home (for drop offs and pick ups) and I think it's so awesome that he'll be able to be so involved. Bear is especially excited since the drop offs and pick ups are mostly mommies. I go, too (and so does LF, of course!) but I think it's kind of a preschool "status symbol". Good lord, is it starting already?

[x] Oh, and speaking of preschool, I met a super nice fellow preschool mom--her girls are the same age as my older two. Annnnnd she's practically my neighbor. Awesomeness. Her girls are pretty darn adorable, too.

[x] I don't recall what we did Wednesday as it just seemed to go by in a blur. Thursday, though, we went to Lincoln Park Zoo--LF's first zoo experience! The older two loved it. We managed to convince them that the sit-n-stand stroller was the way to travel so we booked through the WHOLE zoo in about ninety minutes or so. I "wore" LF in the ERGO and I think she had a great time. She slept through most of it, but was happy when she was awake, so...it was a success. K. had to work last night, but once he came home this morning, we headed out for some serious shopping at Trader Joe's and Super Target. I'm in a tomato phase, apparently. I bought a ridiculous amount of them. Sure, I loaded up on a ton of other produce, but tomatoes were the primary objective. I NEVER tire of the tomato/basil combo. Can't wait to make lasagna soon. And baked tomatoes. And tomato pudding. And a huge batch of marinara, and...yeah. I'm just crazy for those little reds, let me tell you...

[x] September 11. I don't have anything eventful to say. Like everyone, I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing. I was sprawled out on my brother and sister-in-law's couch with my beautiful little niece (six months old at the time) sleeping soundly on my chest. We cuddled on the couch every morning and sometimes she would fall asleep. I was a bit tired of the silence but didn't want to disturb her so I turned the on the TV--very, very softly and decided to watch the news. This was moments after the first tower was hit, before the act of terrorism was clear. It all seemed so surreal. When the second tower was hit...I couldn't even wrap my mind around it.

Thinking of all those in the towers who lost their lives nine years ago today. Thinking of all the first responders who so bravely vowed help at all cost, losing their lives in the process. Thinking of the men and women who dutifully serve to protect our country and its freedom day in and day. Thinking of everyone who lost a family member, friend, spouse, parent, or child that day....

September 11 always hits me so much harder now. For one, I'm a mother. My job is to protect my babies at all cost. I rue the day I will one day have to explain what 9/11 means and why it happens. I worry about the kind of world this has--and will--become. Worry, worry, worry. But I know that's just a part of the motherhood gig. Secondly, I'm the wife of a first responder. K. is a firefighter/paramedic. And to know of all the lives lost from FDNY alone...my heart aches for the department, and for the entire firefighting family. I will light a candle tonight, as I always do. And I will never forget.

[x] More to come...sit tight.

<3