Oh, man. What a wild ride it's been these past few...weeks.

[x] Without disclosing too much, let's just say that we're moving forth with a lawsuit over some money that is owed to us. And I already have a headache the size of Texas. But in the same breath, I feel relieved that we've plotted a course of action. And so it goes...

Now that we've got that out of the way, what's next?

[x] Well, lots of good things coming up as well. We are attending--for the third consecutive year--Day Out with Thomas (the Tank Engine). Bear is SO ridiculously excited (like last year and the year before). Last year was hard for me. I felt a bit haunted that day--how I should've been enormously pregnant, bemoaning the heat, the crowd, the expensive "souvenir" tent (my due date was one week post Thomas). This year, though, I'm back to being excited. Beauty is pretty amped, too, and I can't wait for LF (Bella) to experience her first-ever Thomas event. We're following that up with lunch with two of my favorite people on the planet, so it's going to be a great day. I'm definitely pumped for the experience--but the expensive "souvenir" tent? Not so much.

[x] Been spending some time playing catch up on Support for Special Needs. Oh my stars, how I LOVE that site. If the title appeals/applies to you, check it out and dig in. I've met some rock awesome people there already. I seem to be particularly attached to the "venting" forum.

[x] Speaking of special needs, why is it that other parents are always worse than their kids? There is so much to be said about the innocence and openness of children. <3 While in Target the other day, I found myself in front of a woman with twins (maybe?) around the age of four. I was wearing LF in the Ergo and this woman was scanning LF's face like a bar code. Yes, she has "blind eyes" (they wander, they cross), but seriously? Give me a break. Long story short, it was just irritating. I'm pretty thick-skinned most of the time, but people, if you're going to stare, at least *try* to make it appear as though you are not. You are an adult. Read as also: grown up. At least you're supposed to be, right?

Right.

[x] I've often thought that this is the silver lining in LF's disability--that for now, until she's old enough to sense it, she'll never know when a stranger's eyes are upon her. Naturally, I think everyone gravitates toward her since she is so breathtaking. And she is, you know. Absolutely breathtaking. <3 (Side note: she's ten months old today! Can you believe it?! No? Me neither. <3)

[x] RIP: Thing 1, Thing 2, and Christmas II. And yes, you read that right. We went from 5 new fish (and one other, but he was already here) to a whopping two (well, three total). Who sees another trip to Petsmart in our future? Good grief.

[x] Still haven't caught Fourth Meal yet. She didn't come to eat today and now I'm 800 shades of stressed by her lack of attendance. This cat is bad for my psyche, I tell you. APB to 4M: Just let us catch you and vet you up already. Geez.

[x] I am stripping my house down to in an attempt to get rid of all the junk I don't need and straighten the place up (I think I mentioned this before, though). I have some "room painting" projects, some "new window treatment" painting projects, and a whole lotta projects in between. I'd like to have the bulk of them complete by the end of October. Well, when LF was napping, Bear and I started busting a move. (Beauty bailed on me for a coloring book some juice, and a Thomas the Tank Engine movie. Can't say I blame her, though.) He's proven to be a very eager and proficient helper. So far, we're plowing through the upstairs (we live in a tri-level). The two hall closets are almost done, with the exception of relocating the cats' litter boxes. The bathroom is reorganized, Bear's room has been purged of clothes that no longer fit, etc. The play room is straightened (ha! why bother?!) and the closet has been cleaned out. Our bedroom? Looks like a freight train (or a thousand) ran through it at the speed of light. Gotta get on that. Then comes the main level, and then, the downstairs. Oh, boy. It feels good, though. I'm going to Freecycle a ton of stuff, I think. I've recently gotten rid of quite a few things as of late via Freecycle and I love it.

[x] Tonight? I'm going to scrape away a spot on the bed where I can actually sleep (my bed is loaded with items that need a home) and hope to tackle that room tomorrow when the littles can enjoy (endure? ) daddy's entertainment value.

[x] Today brought some horrible news: friends of friends lost their three year old to cancer. Three years old. A daughter. Just like Beauty. My heart is positively broken for them. I can't even fathom.

You know, I'm like many others: I get caught up in my day-to-day stresses. Petty bullshit and annoyances of life. Everyday, basic woes. But you know what? At times like these I am so, so grateful that these are my problems, these are the issues I face, my complaints, my trials. My life--even as stressful as it seems to me at times--is a piece of cake. I have three great kids who are happy and healthy even in spite of special needs. I have my health, and K., his. We live in a modest house in a good area with good schools near my parents. I have amazing friends. I have great (albeit sometimes annoying) pets. I don't go to bed hungry or cold. I can get my kids new clothes when they outgrow what they have, even if I have to finagle our budget a little bit. I have an amazing, rock-solid marriage. I am happy. I am blessed beyond words.

Hug your kids--no matter how old they are--tonight, guys. My goal is to appreciate what I have and not worry about what I'd like to have. Sure, I can work toward goals, but not at the expense of the wonder and beauty right before my eyes.

I've cried more than a handful of tears today for a family I've never met, for a little girl's strength and bravery. I can only pray that her family is able find some sense of peace somehow and feel the love and prayers heading their way from so many different directions tonight.

[x] To end this entry on a happier note, I'd like to note that K. has asked me to "marry him all over again" (okay, in fairness he asked well over a month and a half ago, but we just put our deposit down to reserve a private room for the event a few days ago). We're having a formal vow renewal next spring. It will be a private affair as we have a fifty person cap, given the location and cost of this undertaking. I am SO excited to give my heart to him all over again and this time...with our three beautiful children by our side. I'll eventually get around to talking shop about this in more detail here, but I won't disclose the date or location. Gotta keep it real since we value our privacy and the guest list is chock full of people who love and respect us and our marriage--and none of those who don't. Our wedding ceremony and reception were both so preposterous for so many different reasons. But this love? Is more amazing than I could've ever thought possible. I have butterflies at the thought of renewing my love to the person who's been my rock, my sounding board, my laugh track, my soulmate. We are both so excited to celebrate the love that, well, led us here. And will lead us down every road we travel...

All right, lovelies. I'm off for now. Gotta feed LF, secure a spot in bed amidst all the junk, and work on my Braille. I am working on a letter to LF, but I keep getting SO emotional that I start crying and mess the whole thing up. At least now I have an eraser to help me out a bit.

<3